Finding the Centre

“Until you find your center within you will go round & round in circles in search of peace & joy.”~Amma


As a collective society we are not imbued with a sense of moving slowly, being still or letting go; to be more in the moment. Even if you read spiritual teachings about slowing down and be-here-now, most likely we are still running around in circles.

I was always a busy-body and was taught that in life you needed to work hard and always be busy doing something. It took a lot of loss and continual letting go to find a place of being more still. The pinnacle of success and joy were not the mechanism that brought me closer to a deeper sense of slowing down, it was through having to learn an advanced lesson in detachment. This lesson was not one of letting go of material items; it was a profound lesson in letting go of the assumptions that I carried about who I perceive myself to be and the person I wanted to be.

“If you feel that your dreams aren’t coming true, you might think that you need to do more, or to think and strategize more. In fact, what you might need is less—less noise coming to you from both inside and outside—so that you have the space for your heart’s truest intention to germinate and flourish.” Thich Nhat Hanh

I have always been a fighter, in the sense of striving through all challenges to achieve my goals. I have practiced this my entire life. Through this action I have broken barriers in my life, which most likely would not have been possible if it weren’t for this intense resilience to keep moving forward. Regardless of loss, family death, rejection and severe character defamation; I continued to persevere against all odds.

However, my advanced lesson came on the heels of returning from India, where my husband and I had spent almost 6 months in our spiritual teachers ashram. The years that followed were filled with any number of extreme challenges. Most of the impediments I could more or less let go of, however the sense of how I saw myself and who I kept fighting to be; were the most difficult aspect to lay down in surrender. Yet, to some larger degree it happened only after having almost everything I identified with stripped away.

“Learn to discern if a given situation is one you should try to change or one you should accept.” Amma

I found myself with infinite amounts of free time alone. It was one of the most profound experiences of my lifetime. I tried to fight against the reality I found myself, running here and there. It took a lot of time and through my continual spiritual practices that I increased with my free time. I was able to let go. A deep sense of peace pervaded each day, filled with a bubble of joy waiting just under the surface. This experience was not something that I had ever been accustomed to. It took time to let go of the anxiety of waiting for the bottom to collapse in someway.

“You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Then, I had nothing left to fight for, there was no reason to resist the beautiful life that was being offered to me in this moment. I began to focus my days on all that I had loved, yet had lost over the years. My love of organic food and cooking resumed its intensity, along with my love of tea time, and yoga.

My life consists of a pattern that is currently devoid of stress. The afternoon spent almost each day at the beach with my little dog, followed by afternoon yoga and then preparing some amazingly delectable healthy meal for my husband. I was able to experience this time of rest and rejuvenation due to my husbands deep love, support, and understanding. He understood the necessity of this space and time. Through my own unwinding I saw a sense of peace and joy come forth in him as well.

I have spent my entire life running away from myself, trying to be a person I thought I was. Yet, the reality was that I have always been here, waiting, witnessing and quiet. I realized that over the last two decades I had essentially lost that deep connection with the essence of who I am. In this time of letting go, I came back to this innate essence, that we all carry like a small flame within us. I realized that I did not have to run or fight or search for the person I am or the life I wanted to live. It was always right here, waiting for me to slow down enough to find it.  

© All Rights Reserved 2017




The Numinous


“Numinous /ˈnjuːmᵻnəs/ is an English adjective, derived from the Latin numen, meaning “arousing spiritual or religious emotion; mysterious or awe-inspiring”.”[1]

“Real love exists in the heart. The love that exists in the Heart cannot be spoken; it cannot be put in words. The heart is not the place for words. Words are in the intellect. The intellect can speak, but it is nothing more than a tape recorder. It records and spits out words and words and words – words that don’t have any feeling in them. The intellect cannot feel compassion; it cannot feel love or kindness.” Amma

As a spiritual aspirant, how can one even broach this abstract topic with mere words. I am capable of writing on many holistic topics, however it is the essence of spirituality and human transformation that captivate me, leaving me in deep water. Thus, I am at an impasse, trying to construct and galvanize something that in practicality, can not be caught and trapped by the finite demarcations of human language.

I will attempt to discuss the relationship of the devotee with their divine aspirations. Hence, the idea of the Numinous; the divine love that we all seek at some level, which is the unification with our own true sense of Self.

This experience is not something that one can even talk about. I rarely write or speak of my own deep personal connection to the Divine. However, I felt drawn to write this, due to a misconstrued sense of egoism I witnessed recently. The Numinous is not about hierarchy, popularity, power, or recognition for who we are, in the eyes of others.

“Lift the veil that obscures the heart, and there you will find what you are looking for.” Kabir

This relationship is so subtle, so personal and delicately intimate. The only similarity may be between lovers who are experiencing a higher expression of human love, not sensually based. The feeling of such a deep opening in your heart that you can not breath, you can not even speak of it, for it has possessed your soul. You are exhilarated, yet the subtle dance is only between you and your Beloved. There is no possible mechanism to translate this sublime love into any words that exist, for the feeling is one of being completely consumed. The dance of love, is so delicate and awe inspiring, it feels so deeply personal that to speak of such a precious thing would reduce its true essence to something of the worldly domain; losing all intrinsic value.

“What is the root of all these words? One thing: Love. But a love so deep and sweet it needed to express itself with scents, sounds, colours that never before existed.”  Hafiz

To engage at this level with the Divine; to taste the Numinous, is a delicate art that only very prolific poets may have half a hope of conveying, such as Rumi, Hafiz, and Kabir. The likes of, I used to literally have a stack of their books, which I would constantly be reading. Then life took me away from such things, down a different path, away from the essence of my heart.

“In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.” Rumi

It has taken a long time to return to this sacred place, to find my way back to who I am and honour my own unique sense of expression in this world. Poetry is the essence of true expression for such an experience, as other such writing and words do not suffice.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi

True love and contact with the Numinous is not something anyone would yell off the roof top. Instead,  one turns inward and can only be absorbed into the abstract experience.

Copyright © All Rights Reserved 2016


To Begin Again

“Accept failure as experience you need for your growth. Be glad that some karma is complete. See your failure as a lesson, learn from it, and move on.” Amma


When we suddenly find ourselves, seemingly back at the beginning; despite having contributed tremendous effort towards something, how do we feel? I have witnessed this phenomena and experienced it more than once in my life. Hence, knowing as I do, there is a feeling of frustrated loss, accompanied by a feeling of disbelief that despite having gained something, we are back at square one, or so it seems.

There are many perceptions that we all collectively harbour about our position in life. Possibly, one of the most prevalent is the feeling of accomplishment, the need to feel as though during the course of our lives, we are constantly moving forward and progressing. The collective fabric and conditioning of our society reinforces this necessity of moving up the ladder of success, which comes with a certain power; that inevitably leads to the possession of more material items, and thus the entire concept of upgrading in life occurs.

Through this process, we are bombarded by the consumeristic idealism of consumption, that we must be more, have more, and seemingly become someone who has more power. What happens when we find ourselves not within this paradigm of thought, can we accept it and find contentment? Or do we feel some way inadequate, as compared to those around us? I ask these question, as even when I have found myself, starting again in life, there is a feeling of failure, even if it was not by my own doing.

The reality is that we all have many lessons to learn in life and we are not all meant to be living a homogenized identity. Most of society is moving as a flock of blind sheep; everyone is moving in one direction, so we all just follow along. Yet, what happens if you are not one of these people, who feels that they are part of this unconscious mass movement; inevitably heading off the cliff?

What happens when you strongly feel that there is a much richer, simplistic, and more real way of living life, rather than going along with the masses? When we realize that we are at a new point of beginning, we also must realize that with this feeling of emptiness, all things become possible. Oftentimes, we forget that the most powerful gift we can have is a space in our lives to recreate a life that is more suited to what we envision for ourselves.

In my own life, I recently walked away from a lucrative opportunity, because it did not feel right and there were far too many moral and ethical boundaries that potentially would be crossed, in the name of business and success. I felt that letting go of something that I spent six months creating, was a much wiser move than to continue working on a project that I had never had a good feeling about. I was caught up in someone elses idea, one in which I did not have any passion for or believe in. The one thing I did have was the experience and the knowledge, thus contributing the majority of intellectual property. This was the only factor that made it difficult to finally let go, losing a part of my own creation.

Moreover, the truth of the matter is that I clearly had resented the fact that I was not working on my own project, one I had already begun yet put aside in the name of working with friends. I fully realize that I made a huge mistake, having corrected this, there is a space of potential to continue with my own project.

When we finally let go of how we think our lives should be, or the things we cling to because they seem like a good opportunity; this is when we really see the direction and value in the life that we wish to live. Its when we can walk away from something that we know, no longer serves us, despite the fact that there is some inevitable loss. This is when we have enough strength to continue along within our own terms, finding a greater sense of autonomy within ourselves and our lives.

Copyright © All Rights Reserved 2015

Reconciliation With Oneself

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson

 Screen-Shot-2014-03-24-at-4.24.22-PMToday, the rain has been coming down, leaving the dense green vegetation covered in the drops that fall from the sky, from the branches, onto the lower leaves. The birds have all flown to cover, yet I am here alone witnessed only by the dimly lit sky, overcast and shedding its tears upon the earth. I feel a deep sadness and emptiness filling me, something much deeper and painful than just a passing mood or feeling. I deeply contemplate the life I have thus far lived, at this vantage point very little makes sense to me. I wonder how I ended up at this temporary destination. A dull hopelessness fills me so completely, that I can do nothing to keep it at bay. There are no distractions to take my mind away from the clouds that have covered the sun within my heart, which normally cast its brilliance in an expansive exuberance.

“There is nothing to practice. To know yourself, be yourself. To be yourself, stop imagining yourself to be this or that. Just be. Let your true nature emerge. Don’t disturb your mind with seeking.” Nisargadatta Maharaj

The rain has a purifying effect on nature, through the dissolution of the previous energetic imprints, now pure vibrance is being rained back down upon the earth. Even though, its as if the falling of each drop carries a secret sadness. Through the deepest expression of this indescribable sadness, perhaps as one sheds tears, there is a deeper cleansing of our negative tendencies. A deeper surrender into the folds of a universal power and intelligence that is far superior than our own limited minds. I feel as though I have fallen into the impossible, fighting for something that perhaps does not exist, nor will ever exits; the dreams I have carried for most of my life, the goals that have taken shape through the life I have lived, and the dreams that have filled my heart. All of these beautiful intentions, continuously transforming as I myself constantly change. Yet, it feels that regardless of my best effort, still I am as far away from the metamorphosis of these dreams, into reality.

“You cannot transcend what you do not know. To go beyond yourself, you must know yourself.” Nisargatta Maharaj

I dreamed a dream, perhaps an impossible dream; it was magnificently perfect, a life I longed to live. Now, is a time of letting such dreams fall away, as rain cleanses the earth, so too is it time to begin anew. To embrace the new, the person that I am today, allowing a deeper expression of creativity and freedom to fill my life; rather than clinging to ideals that began almost half my lifetime ago. Its a cosmic lesson in letting go of the old, despite the pain associated. One must completely allow the past to become just that, the past. In order for one to fully reach within to our deepest potential, to truly feel alive in the present moment. I realize only now, that I trapped myself in a self deterministic prison, with all of these goals and dreams. Thus, they created such a constricted sense of confinement to the pure expression of who I am, as a person. I only allowed myself to reach towards a limited array of options, which fit only a very small aspect of who I have always been.

“Just let go. Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness.” Caroline Myss

The wind has started to slightly blow the branches of the giant fir tree, like a huge guardian, his branches sway back and forth. I can see numerous small, delicately transparent drops of water clinging to each branch, like an exquisite tapestry created through the perfection of natures organic and unstructured patterns. Perhaps, its time that I started living my life through the perfect, unstructured, beautifully organic matrix that life offers to each and every one of us. To be free of our outdated confines, is a truly freeing feeling, even with a reminisce of sadness, bidding farewell to that which no longer serves our greatest expression.

Copyright © All Rights Reserved 2014

The Subversive Nature of Being

“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?” Rumi


We live in a predominantly homogenized society, despite the fact that a large percentage of the younger generations are acting as a unified force to counter this form of social conformity. Although, throughout history the majority of brilliant scholars, artists, musicians, philosophers, and mystics were all focused on living non-conventional lives due to their awareness of the confining aspects of homogeneity. The most brilliant minds of even today, use the faculty of discrimination, critical thinking, and even intuition to assess and weigh what is accurate and what is not.

Even Einstein was a great advocate of using one’s intuitive faculties,“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. We will not solve the problems of the world from the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. More than anything else, this new century demands new thinking: We must change our materially based analyses of the world around us to include broader, more multidimensional perspectives.” Albert Einstein

In essence, through the intellectual and intuitive faculties which we all have a certain degree of access to, we should be able to discern what is of relevance and what is not. Yet, how many of us actually question the relevance of certain social patterns that most people blindly follow. 

The act of being subversive is a tactic that is used everyday by numerous people who have the awareness that becoming fully homogenized within society is not a true representation of imbibing their highest potential, nor a clear representation of what they would like their lives to emulate. The act of living a life that is based on subversive actions; to have the awareness to contest even basic issues lacking in transparency, reveal our basic need to know the truth of what is going on in society and the larger global world.

Through all of our actions and words, when we choose to questions certain patters in society and go against them, there can be repercussions. I recently experienced this phenomena, in which a certain individual launched an attack against the conceptual discourse and content of the discussion related to the social, political, and ecological importance of choosing organic food, over the other choices available. I realized instantly, that when people are highly homogenized, or when they are faced with concepts that they view as subversive, or even intellectual discussions that question the pattern of their ‘normal’ social conditioning; they become highly defensive. 

I first experienced this when I became a vegetarian 23 years ago, during a time when it was not mainstream or even remotely cool to practice this form of dietary choice. I was actually a vegan vegetarian, due to reading John Robins “Diet For A New America”, and several other related books. Given the information I was able to assimilate on this topic, I made a very clear choice to eat a diet that did not cause harm to animals, supported a holistic principle to health, and was more viable within the parameter of being more ecologically sound. Even though the choice was mine to make, I found myself constantly running into people who would become immediately confrontational and defensive against the choices that were inevitably affecting me, not them. I found this phenomena rather interesting as I realized that people’s deep seated fear of others doing something that is considered subversive triggers massive fear, defensive mechanisms, and can make people very confrontational.

In todays world, most of us are homogenized to some degree within the cultural norm of our social milieu. Therefore, the use of subversive action can be a mechanism to create small circles of change through discussions, or it can occur on a much large scale, such as being highly aware of the social economy of what we inevitably support with our time, money, and actions. To this day, I have lived my entire life attempting to liver more subversively than allowing myself to fall into the homogenization of becoming en-mass, like a drone in a vacuous society devoid of any depth of meaning. To live a life bound by social conformity, accepting everything at face value, and without questioning the larger social and political paradigm is to be completely asleep. “Some people live as though they are already dead. There are people moving around us who are consumed by their past, terrified of their future, and stuck in their anger and jealousy. They are not alive; they are just walking corpses.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Today when I meet people who become defensive and confrontational over the choices that I make, I clearly state that if they don’t like what I write or how I live my life, its absolutely fine, as the actions I make only affect me, no one else. Thus, “my only true belongings in life are my actions.” Thich Nhat Hanh

To choose to live a non-conventional life one must be very strong, strong enough to confront others ignorance in a non-confrontational, grounded, and calm way. Ironically, many things that were seen as subversive at one point in time, soon become mainstream. Several of todays trends were once limited to much smaller subcultures and seen as highly subversive. A few of these are: organic food, vegetarianism, other heath based dietary regimes, yoga, meditation, consuming herbs or health supplements, etc. Yet, today it seems most people have some awareness of all of the above topics.

Copyright © All Rights Reserved 2014

The Many Faces of Friendship

“All your identities at the body-mind level have been changing continuously, and none of them has been constant and faithful to you. Why then are you attracted to any of these identities by stating ‘I am like this’ or ‘I am like that’?” Nisargadatta

Lotus Flower Season01

Regardless of our age, when we look back over the course of our lives, we will see an interchange of numerous friendships that have come and gone, while others have stayed. Few of us actually give much thought to the phenomena of ‘friendship’; what does it really mean and why do we pursue this aspect of our lives with such a priority and need. In addition, many of us have had lovely friendships with kindred spirits, while other friendships have caused us tremendous pain and suffering.

Through our human interaction we have certain limitations, projections, and ideals that we measure ourselves and everyone else by. Thus, when we meet someone who appears to imbue qualities that we idealize for ourselves, we put forth the effort required to make that person our friend. However, what happens when that person does not live up to our ideal of friendship and our expectations are not meant. The result is that we turn against them and create some reason why we are no longer friends, often moving from a place of really liking that person to disliking them. Rarely do we actually stop to see the situation for what it really is, as our own version of ‘reality’ takes place within the perceptual faculties of our mind, which is often tainted by our own version of how we choose to see ourselves and others. We measures others value based on our own self measurement and we accept or deny others based on this very finite principle of our own self perception. Also, there is always something to be gained through friendship, even if we can not immediately see this, we are all searching for something better than ourselves, to fill the empty feeling that we all embody. 

This feeling of emptiness can only be felt when we can slow our minds down enough to attain a sense of inner reflexivity. In this state of awareness we all feel a deep sense of being incomplete. However, when we are not aware of the unconscious expression of our inner emptiness, we spend our lives constantly running after material objects, experiences, relationships of all kinds, and anything that we can find to keep our mind distracted, to fill the void of emptiness that we feel. Of course, friendship can be a beautiful phenomena of sharing and having the strength and support of someone who we feel fully accepts who we are. However, if that same person did something that we found unacceptable, most likely the friendship would be over. In this way, we go through life measuring our own sense of self and value based on the people we are constantly interacting with, mainly our group of friends. As we continue through life, these people often change, as we are constantly re-negotiating our own sense of self. Therefore, as we change and grow we seek to surround ourselves with such people who we feel are relatable in the ways that we value and find important.

At a spiritual level, all people that we come into contact with are karmically there for some reason, to teach us various lessons. This phenomena can be seen when we have very long and lovely friendships, yet even more so when we have friendships that turn out to be very painful and cause suffering to us in the end. In my own life, the majority of friendships have been very positive and strong, with many continuing friendships with people I have know for thirty years when we were young children, up to the new friends I am continuing to make.

Like most people, I have numerous positive friendships, yet in the last few years I have gone through some of the most negative experiences with people who were assumably friends. I mention this term very lightly in my own personal experience, as I know the feeling of a strong friendship and all of these negative experiences I never really felt that these people were actually my friends, yet due to other related factors, they were considered ‘friends’. In essence, I experienced some of the most psychologically manipulating and dysfunctional relationships of my life. The reality for me was very clear, as this was a pattern that this particular individual perpetuated in numerous relationships in their own life; constantly seeking to replicate this dysfunctional behavior. The lesson for me was that we need to be very careful who we allow into our lives, even if you are a kind person and have a huge range of acceptance of others, its very important to be highly discriminating. 

It is not my intention to ‘other’ people for their behavior, yet I strongly realize from making the mistake of feeling that I had to accept everyone no matter who they were. Dysfunctional individuals are very self destructive and if you associated with them, you will run the risk of great loss in some way.

In this way, difficult situations teach us the most profound lessons related to renegotiating our own inner strength, boundaries, and the level of discrimination that we need to live a life with as little harm as possible. In such situations, sometimes it is not until we can gain a more distant perspective that we can really asses the situation and realize that for whatever reason we had to go through that friendship and learn from it. In truth, we all carry inner negativity and certain levels of toxic behavior such as anger, greed, jealousy, hatred, and similar such emotional states. Everyone who comes through our lives can show us profound insight into ourselves, both the beautiful qualities that we embody and the deeper, darker unconscious negative tendencies that we all have to some degree.

Copyright © All Rights Reserved 2014

The Perception of Deception – Letting Go

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell


Life is about silently letting go of everything that no longer serves our greatest potential of being. This is one of the most profound and difficult lessons in life, knowing when to let go of all that is holding us back, keeping us stagnant, or bringing us down to a level less than who we truly are. It takes a certain level of strength, negotiation, and discrimination to know exactly what we need to sever out of our lives, when the situation or relationship has served its purpose, no longer benefiting us. This has been a re-occurrent theme throughout my life; letting go of all that I no longer need, as metaphorically the lighter your baggage, the farther you will be able to travel in life. 

The perception of deception is how we deceive ourselves in life, through perceiving situations and people erroneously. However, once we are able to alter our perception through awareness, we ‘wake up’ to the present reality. Recently, this metamorphosis occurred in my own life, as if I had been asleep navigating my way through life, to suddenly ‘wake up’. It seems, through invoking a much greater discriminative power than I previously had access to, I woke up to a very clear and utterly transparent realization of the life I was living. I was starkly confronted with the reality that one cycle of life had been completed, while a very different cycle had begun.

I realized that the liminality of my previous life had come to a closure, leaving me with the assertion that the person I had become was no longer interested in continuing certain patterns that I had previous enacted. These areas encompassed dynamics with certain friends and family. Although, most of the acute realizations had been within my barometer of awareness for a very long time. Such as, how my family had bestowed certain ascribed attributes upon me as an indicator of who I was suppose to be, which is one of the most common familial practices. However, within the jurisdiction of my family allotting a sense of identity upon me – was akin to becoming a deterministic prisoner to a persona – completely irrelevant to who I am. Like many familial practice, the identity ascribed to me represented the abject of a complete stranger; someone I had never been, nor will ever be. 

Moreover, I refuse to allows others to dictate who I am supposed to be. This is primarily due to the very fact that I see my life as my own, not trapped by the limitations imposed on me by family or anyone else. It takes a certain degree of critical thinking and discrimination to understand the mechanisms of entrapment, which exist in everyone’s lives, in various forms. In my own life, I have never easily submitted to others attempts of trying to control, manipulate, or limit me through their own issues. Even though, I have always been aware that such patterns were taking place with certain individuals. However, at this juncture in my life I fully realize that I would rather not engage with such individuals, regardless of who they are. Thus, it is in my best interest to save my energy for more productive pursuits.

In essence, perhaps this ‘wake up’ was really a coming home to myself through the deeper sense of self-empowerment that I feel. Even though, it has taken until now to reach this destination of strength and discrimination; to clearly, rationally, and calmly see what is beneficial to me and what is not. Hence, as we grow through the experiential reality of life, there will always be revelations of small ‘truths’ along the way. Inevitably, life forces us to learn detachment through infinite lessons in letting go of all that no longer serves us any longer, thus providing a lighter journey forward.

© All Rights Reserved 2013

The Enigma of Potential

“One’s Personal Legend is what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend.
Whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth”. Paulo Coelho 


 Each one of us contains an infinite source of innate potential, even though it may seem contradictory to perceive someone and how they may appear, verses their true potential that will eventually manifest in their lifetime. Similarly, a lotus pond prior to the blossoming of lotus flowers, often appears as murky water with the leaves of the lotus plants appearing to float on the surface of the water. Yet, in due time the most exquisitely beautiful lotus flowers break through the dirty water as buds, which slowly begin to open in majestic spender, spreading their infinite beauty, fragrance, and spiritual vibration. 

 The once murky looking pond is transformed into a spectacular display of natures finest beauty, the fully blossomed lotus flowers transcend the pond with their captivating beauty. In essence, this is the metaphor for the lives we are all living as we struggle to embody a deeper sense of meaning and connection not only to who we are, but how our sense of self transfers into the larger world. Often we have a very clear idea of what we would like to create and bring forth into our lives, even if the means are not apparent. Some of the most innovative people of our time have been alone, unsupported, and struggling to make others understand what they were trying to create and bring forth into the world.

There are also numerous stories of highly successful people, who in the beginning, prior to gaining ‘success’ were struggling, living in poverty, and facing extremely challenging situations that they could not fathom a way out of. However, each of their ideas transcended the challenges that they faced; like writing a book, such as the author of Harry Potter who tried thirteen times to get her first book published and was living in poverty; to be a journalist, such as Oprah, who we all know her life story; or Vandana Shiva, who advocates for seed freedom and biodiversity of food sustainability through challenging the hegemony of corporations like Monsanto for the past 25 years, despite her academic education as a PhD in Quantum Physics. What all of these people have in common is a driving goal that they most likely have felt throughout a large portion of their lives.

Each of these people felt such a strong conviction to manifest their ideas into a reality, even though many of those dreams took most of their lives to unfold and accomplish. I am not by any means equating myself or anyone else with the latter group of individuals, I am only suggesting that we all have a tremendous untapped potential that is far greater than we can ever conceive and we are all here to create something that is innovative, even if that only affects our own life. We all live in a society that homogenizes people into very specific and socially acceptable categories of how you are allowed to be as a person in regards to how you act, present yourself, and live your life. If you step out beyond those ascribed norms into a paradigm that is not mainstream, you had better have a lot of inner strength to stay grounded, as difference triggers immense fear in others.

I was born into a highly unconventional family, raised in a highly unconventional and highly creative fashion that allowed my siblings and I to have immense freedom of a physical nature (to wander through the wilderness), intellectually, creatively, and to create games and play that were highly innovative and unique to ‘normally’ raised children. The byproduct of such a childhood for me was that I was allowed to be difference, even if others did not fully accept me, it was my birth right to do what I wanted to do in life and no one was going to deter me from living the life I wanted to live. In this way, I realized early on that we all have potential to be who we want to be, to embody certain paradigms of thought that created a sense of self, even though for me I was living my life as an authentic version of who I saw myself to be as a person. I was never overly concerned with success or monetary gain. I have always been far more interested in living my own authentic version of inner reflexivity, as breathing life through the lifestyle that consumes me and is an ubiquitous part of myself; the holistic and spiritual way of living that has become my entire life.

However, it has taken a tremendous amount of time, education, work, and numerous challenges in life for me to fully realize exactly what aspect of my potential to galvanize into my current practice and allow these to unfold.

Moreover, one thing that we all must know is that there are certain times for everything in our lives to manifest, for there are numerous lessons both challenging and rewarding, which can be one and the same. Often challenging circumstances teach us about ourselves in the most honest manner and we can learn where our strengths and weaknesses lie within ourselves, which is very powerful to know. All of our actions are like seeds in life that we plant, all consequences we must face sooner or late, yet there are also certain seeds that we intentionally plant in the soil of our life. Our inner potential is like the seeds that we plant; some of those seeds sprout and thrive to be healthy, others sprout yet are destroyed at a young stage, others do not sprout at all, and others are like massive trees that take most of your life to germinate and slowly start to grow. The small tree takes decades before it even looks like a tree, then it takes several more decades to be a strong, firmly, and deeply rooted tree that can withstand the torrential storms of life through all the seasons of life.

In many ways, its my feeling that all of us have some deeper innate sense of what we are doing here and what we are innately drawn to that we find fascinating. I find that when you are here to do something, that energy will guide you in life, rather than you being the one who is in control. Instead, you are being guided through some deeper innate knowledge that starts to manifest all around you through every possible avenue. I have experienced this many times in my life, as all of us are here to contribute to the world through some unique and beautifully authentic expression by allowing ourselves to fully embody our highest potential in life, as the innate nature of our self and the life we are choosing to live. We too must allow life to germinate our inner potential, as the lotus will inevitably blossom and share its immanent radiance, so must we brave the many challenges before we too blossom into our higher potential of being.

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