Inner Reflections

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“Many people try to become wiser and more loving, and they remain in a constant battle with themselves. This approach never works because it assumes a separate ‘you’ who wants to be a better person. It is the you that is the dream, a thought only. In taking yourself to be a separate entity, you blind yourself to the Truth of your being, which is love and wisdom.” Adyashanti

Within the eyes of our own reflexivity we shall see a wider array of our outer reality; revealing what we magnetically attract to ourselves. In greater awareness, when we can become more of a witness, we can perceive the interconnected attraction that we generate every second.

“The law of attraction is this…you don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

After spending most of my life as an easily reactive individual, despite doing my practice on a regular basis. A situation occurred where I decided that I would make a concerted effort to become more of a witness, than a reactor. In time, I realized that as situations began to unfold, it was as though a part of me was watching this occur. Within this awareness, there was a very subtle moment where I could choose how to react. Through this process, I started to notice all the people who were drawn to me or attracted to me; everyone was going through something energetically similar. As aspects of my life changed, again I attracted people going through apparently similar life experiences.

“Usually where we experience lack, there’s something we already have that we’re not appreciating fully.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Even further, through the Holistic Integrated Therapy that I have been practicing for many years now, most of my clients were also drawing versions of themselves, literally to themselves. The work I do is a combination of counselling, intuition and medical intuition. It’s incredibly effective when going through very challenging aspects of life or situations with other people. Through observing the challenges of many of my long term clients, as well as the numerous friends that also come to see me. I noticed one thing that was very interesting. The most challenging individuals that they came across, ALL had the same qualities that these people also embodied.

The problem, is that most of us are not willing to really face our darkest inner selves and see how we are on a deeper level. Of course, within the ability that I am gifted with, I can see very clearly each person’s energetic qualities. Actually, I have had this ability very fine tuned since I was a very small child and have used it throughout my entire life, with absolute accuracy in every situation.

“We are made for goodness, love and compassion. Our lives are transformed as much as the world is when we live with these truths.” ~ Desmond Tutu

I noticed that we struggle with the abject of ourselves when we meet it face to face in another person. We fight back against them, with a dislike that we actually have towards these qualities that are hidden deep within ourselves. From a spiritual perspective, none of the mind stuff is our true identity. However, from a practical perspective, all of it is associated with our ego. The ego loves to hide its darkness away; out of sight out of mind. Therefore, we show a facade of a friendly demeanor and project outwardly how we would like others to perceive us. Ironically, I have always been able to feel the whole energy of a person, seeing what was hidden beneath.

“When you accept everything for what it is without labels,you are outside your ego.”~Eckhart Tolle.

When we are aware of our own darker tendencies, we learn to have compassion and acceptance towards others negative tendencies.  I am not saying that we accept others bad behaviour, yet we can accept the whole of the individual, even if we see that this person can lose their temper at times or is also human like us. If we can find a place of taking self-responsibility for who we are and all of our tendencies, then it’s easier to see the humanity of others. The reflections of the abject are the strongest in partnership, we see the negative qualities and start to point the finger in blame, “you are like this”. When really, we are most likely the same, in some way.

“When a ship is in the sea, it has to weather storms, rough seas and may even encounter whales or sharks, while the ship anchored in the harbour doesn’t face any such challenges. However, who would make a ship just to moor it in the harbour? When obstacles appear in life, we need to kindle our inner strength and spread the fragrance of selflessness and love. We should be able to lift up others who are drowning in grief.” Amma

One of the most powerful healing qualities is awareness, as once we are able to shed light on our own inner vulnerabilities we can work on changing them. Rather than finding constant fault with others behaviour. It’s far more self-empowering to continuously focus on our inner self and allow these patterns to deteriorate and eventually let them go.

In time, all things are possible if you make the sincere effort, all you need is the persistence and continual awareness. In time, you will attract much more harmonious relations and the depth of compassion and love will allow you to work through difficulties with others in a positive way.

In addition, it is important to maintain a certain level of discrimination and have healthy boundaries around those who we want in our lives.

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Truth Through Action

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ~ Brené Brown

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We are all searching for some tangible sense of contentment, happiness, and truth that helps us to understand the life that we are all collectively living. Of course, there are numerous paradigms that we prescribe to for various reasons, as a means of searching for something greater than ourselves. The question I have, is what stops us from really practising what we believe; really being the energy of what we speak and write. This is why, I only write about subjects that I am experiencing through my own actions; rather than just write about all of the health, philosophical, or holistic concepts that I have spent a considerable amount of time studying. I find tranquility through: simplicity, awareness, and working each day to really practice what I deeply believe within the teachings that I follow on a holistic level. The daily health and holistic advice that I give to others, has come about not only through the years of theoretical training, but also a lifetime of experience and observing how these aspects affect the human body, mind, and spirit.

In my own life, I have been interested in many aspects of spirituality, philosophy, and understanding the human condition. However, one thing that I have always done is to find some level of awareness and observation. I try to be observant of my environment, through watching others and the related dynamics that ensure, including my own actions. Through this process, I have seen time and time again how easy it is to write or speak words of various meanings, yet unless you can fully embody what you believe through these truths; it becomes meaningless to repeat such things to others. Inevitable, it does not matter what or how much you know, if it’s not transfered through your actions, it profoundly lacks any real meaning.

I felt inspired to write on this subject, as I tend to read numerous articles and blogs on health and spirituality. In addition, I tend to spend time with many people who are trying to find meaning in these two areas. I notice time and time again, we as individuals don’t practice what we deeply believe, on a large scale. Yes, there are many people who do make a huge effort and their truth is easily seen through all of their actions. However, I have witnesses people who are spiritual seekers, yet still their actions are not in direct correlation with what they inevitably believe. This phenomena is very prevalent, where most people create their own ideologies around others, allowing them excuses to treat others poorly or wreak havoc on someone else’s life through creative gossip and untruths.

Through such experiences, I find a sense of incredible resolve to focus on developing greater levels of awareness and not inflicting harm into my environment. Inevitable, it is only through our own actions that we should be concerned, even if someone else is at fault or has done the wrong action and you are the one blamed, for your reaction – to their poor action. Still, you must continue to bring the awareness back to your own actions; this is true self empowerment and will make your life much more authentic, transparent, and honest. Thus, bringing a congruence with your thoughts and beliefs, aligning these with all of your actions.

Often, it is through our greatest suffering that we make the greatest effort to change, or through our witness of someone else’s very destructive patterns that have touched our lives. If you witness others behaving in ways that are based on poor judgment; remember that action will ONLY ever harm them.

The real reality is that what we believe is inevitably conveyed through our actions, regardless of what we think or say; if we are not able to convey these into action, then we have a lot of work to do. As many of us know, this can pertain to anything, from negative mental and emotional patterns that we constantly play out in our minds, to cruel and destructive tendencies that we justify to ourselves. The truth is that regardless of who someone is or how they behave, no one deserves to be treated poorly. Moreover, if we find ourselves treating another person poorly because of what someone else has told us through their transfer of hate; we should be very cautious with our actions by taking on someone else’s issue, which may not even be a real phenomena.

In our society, we as a collective love to discriminate against others and demonize them, even if it’s to justify our own self created ideas.

Inevitably, each negative action that has come to slice through my life; I have become much more diligent with my own transformation, focusing on trying very hard not to be this way myself. In addition, we must become more aware of our actions and the consequences that follow. If we have contributed to some harm, due to our actions, the most benevolent role to play is to take accountability and do your best to amend the action. It takes a certain level of self honesty to really find a sense of self awareness. Even though I make an effort to attempt to be more and more aware and be mindful of my own actions, I also make many mistakes. The thing that I am trying to convey is the importance of having this awareness, thus making our lives an expression of who we are and what we believe, seen through the quiet simplicity of our actions.

The most powerful truth is only see through action, this is something we see with the Mahatma’s (great saints) of the world. Their actions are completely in alignment with the universal truth, there is no hypocrisy. All of us can practice some level of truth through repeatedly invoking them within all of our actions. By becoming more observant of our own actions, we can mediate them as we go along to become more harmonious with the universal truth. I find that one of the most motivating factors, as discussed above is to become aware of the actions from others that we have found painful and try very hard not to inflict those onto other people. If we find ourselves in the process of doing this, we always have the chance to retract our steps and make amends. This is my ongoing practice that requires tremendous patience and self forgiveness, to continue practising. Self forgiveness, when our actions are not in harmony with peace and love and inflict harm onto another; to become aware of this and try and correct this action. If we make the effort, it’s really amazing how we can find greater inner peace, love, and harmony in our relationships.

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The Abject Poverty of Toxic Emotions

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent on throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned” Buddha

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I am sure I am not the only person who has experienced a sense of carrying and living out toxic emotions. I am using the word “toxic” specifically to conjure up a sense of understanding that we all have a vast array of emotions that plague the majority of us, yet when we find we are inundated with a sense of extreme frustration, anger, jealousy, fear, or hatred; the emotion then becomes toxic. Thus, when we are feeling a negative emotion at an intense level that is causing a sense of agitation, its toxic and is not benefiting us or anyone around us.

There are numerous theories, psychological, medical, spiritual paradigms of how to manage one’s emotions that are effective so some degree. I find that the lexicon of psychology and medical intervention may be more applicable to those suffering from an extremely unwell senses of distortion, that may benefit from medication or psychological counseling. However, for the rest of us who are just trying to live our lives through navigating the most enjoyable, less stressful, and least suffering path in life; to feel extreme emotions can be a very distressing experience. Obviously, even to the best of our ability, life is unpredictable and numerous things can have adverse effects on our emotions, causing us to explode in an array of emotional expressions that are considered toxic; from the perception of attempting to live a holistic life of balance.

It has been my experience that emotional reactions almost always are caused from an external catalyst that triggers a certain reaction within us, that may not be within our conscious control. In my life, anger has been the main emotion that has come to rest with me on numerous occasions in life, not just in the form of pure anger, but also in the form of frustration and indignation. I now fully understand something that I did not many years ago; first of all, toxic emotions only harm us more than anyone else; second, our outburst of emotions or even acts of revenge will have a negative effect on others; thirdly, we have the power to change our emotional patters if we want to badly enough. I mention this last fact as it may have taken me until this point in my life to fully understand the fact that we can all change our negative emotional patters if we REALLY want to and make a tremendous effort to mitigate and have an awareness of our reactions and the harm that is inflicted when we allow ourselves to react. Of course, even against our best effort there will be moments were we lose it in some way or another, yet this allows us the opportunity to go deeper into what is still triggering this emotional response, rather than feel bad about ourselves.

What can we do to start the process of reducing our emotional toxicity is to first be acutely aware of whatever emotional reaction we are experience, to view it as it is, without any self judgement or criticism towards ourselves. The second most important point is that we must take full responsibility for our reaction, its only our fault, regardless of any external provocation, we are the ones freaking out! We MUST be able to take full self responsibility for all of our actions and emotional reactions and STOP blaming anyone or thing that exist externally, it really has NOTHING to do with them or the situation, it has everything to do with us. We all react differently to people and situations, yet a self empowered person will experience anger due to some situation and realize it comes from their own reaction, not the external trigger. On the other hand, someone who is less self empowered will never take self responsibility, instead they will blame all their toxic emotional reactions on everyone and everything that they can possible find to blame.

Who am I to comment on controlling one’s toxic emotions and do I have any credibility in this area of experiential knowledge. The answer is ‘yes’, I have had a temper that I have carried for the majority of my life, often it would lay sleeping and since I have always had extreme control over my emotions, few saw this most poisonous snake. When I would lose my temper, I would not waste my time with petty insults, instead I have always been highly perceptive to peoples strengths and weaknesses, instead I would verbally strike with lightening speed deep into that persons weakness, stripping them of everything. For, there is no need to insult others when the barren truth is much more severe and painful than mental manipulation, games, or insults. I am not proud of the harshness I can exhibit, in contrary I have experienced how much suffering that cruelty affected the other person, yet more so how deeply it cut into me. I may have a potentially ferocious temper, yet underneath there is a much more vast and deep kindness that prefers to love and nourish others, rather than try to destroy them. 

In every instance of reaction, I was acutely aware of how toxic this level of reaction was and I started making tremendous effort to reduce this energy. I have been doing certain spiritual practices most of my life, which has made a tremendous difference in allowing me to have much more awareness and control over my own emotional reactions. In addition if you can surrender the negative issues up to a greater reality of being, this makes a huge difference and allows a much lighter journey through life. At this moment in time I must say that I do still feel frustration and anger, yet it is far less intense and I am highly aware of what is going on when it comes to the surface. The real value of strong emotions is to find the trigger beneath the surface, for when you are more aware of why you are triggered, then you are less likely to be so next time. In essence, I choose to make a huge effort to find more joy and peace in my life, regardless of what challenges or challenging people cross my path. Thus, an affirmation of attempting to live a more conscious life can yield much fruit if you are really willing to make the effort and necessary work to change the things that are causing you and perhaps others pain.

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