Unconditional Love

“Inner peace always follows in the wake of pain. To teach the state of joy, you first have to experience pain. Pain in the beginning and lasting happiness at the end is far superior to happiness in the beginning and long-lasting pain at the end. Pain is an unavoidable part of life. Without having suffered in some way, you cannot experience and appreciate peace or happiness.” ~ Amma

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How can we love unconditionally when we can barely love from a pure energetic perspective. There needs to be compassion and complete acceptance, therefore bypassing the intellectual criticism and judgment.

“True love is unconquerable and irresistible; And it goes on gathering power and spreading itself, until eventually it transforms everyone whom it touches.” ~ Meher Baba

I went through a literal Dark Night of the Soul, which unearth the darkest aspects within. I became many ways, yet no matter how ugly or broken I was; my husband and best friend, was always there for me. He helped and supported me in every single way that I needed.

 I have witnessed numerous relationships around me spiral through partners. When they end, there is an excuse of how this person had this issue or that issue and it would never work. I think, if only they knew the issues my husband and I went through, these people would have been harrowed and haggard by the process. Yet, to really have deep love, it needs to be seeds that are planted deep in the earth of connection. The roots that bind us are so deep, beyond this lifetime.

 

Regardless of everything, the engulfing love and support of my husband has been a balm of healing and self empowerment in my life. I owe him a loyalty unlike anything you see in this superficial world. He is a part of my soul, we are not separate. Our connection is beyond the body, beyond the superficial aspects of this world. His strength is like an endless power that does not stop; it gives life to all those who touch it.

“When you touch deep understanding and love, you are healed.” Thich Nhat Hanh

 
I have meant many people in my life, yet none could even compare to him, in any way. As one of the best Vedic astrologers said to him, “you are better than everyone, even though you think that you are less”. He is humble, powerful, intelligent and dharmic to the core. There is very little to no hypocrisy in this person. Of course he is a human being who has issues and various personality tendencies. Yet, he is able to move onward from everything.

I found myself returning to the past, reiterating the painful situations that broke me down, into fragments. He would tell me to move forward, there is no reason to hold onto something that is no longer here. He is right.

“Anything you avoid in life will come back, over and over again, until you’re willing to face it—to deeply look into its true nature. Again, the only way to know that we’ve seen into the true nature of something is that the story we’re telling ourselves releases. It is not only seen to be illusion; it is felt to be illusion. I often tell my students to stick with it until it falls away. The choice is between meditative inquiry and becoming a victim. That’s the choice you have—to be a victim to your own ideas and beliefs, or to feel into them until they drop away.”~ Adyashanti

After going through difficulties we must move forward and rewire our brains to be present. I see the power and necessity to let the past rest and forgive it’s hard grip that nearly sucked the life out of me.

Instead, the Divine grace allowed me to have a profound space of being here and now. A space to put my luggage down, rest and return to the point of my origin. A space that allowed a tremendous transformation to occur in my life. The grace of your Guru is like a rebirth, although it’s not instant; you may need to suffer like hell until you can really let go and find some element of surrender.

In that moment, something massive shifts and in a small way you can wake up to your entire life, with a deeper perception and awareness. It was as though a thin veil or fog had lifted. One that had occluded my vision for my entire life. I felt a clarity of being and direction that I actually strongly felt when I was younger. However, the rope of karma pulled me, as a noose around my neck so far off my path that I had to endure a sense of complete loss of identity, in order to return again to the essence of who I am in this life.

“Spirituality is not a journey forward; it is a journey backward. We return to our original source of existence. In that process, we have to pass through the layers of emotions and vasanas (mental tendencies) we have accumulated so far. That is where the pain comes from, not from outside. By going through these layers with an open attitude, we are, in fact, transcending them, which will ultimately take us to the abode of supreme peace and bliss.” Amma

Regardless of the difficulties in my life, I hang tightly onto my spiritual practices and never let my hand slip from my grasp onto my spiritual teacher. Her grace and deep guidance is absolute. I see this clearly, everything occurs to strip off the ignorance that covers us. When you embark on the spiritual path with sincerity, the grace of Guru will bring you closer to God; not to the goals and aspirations that we all seek through our ego identity.

The infinite foot of grace crushed the ego identity that I would not let go of. I had to suffer greatly prior to finally letting go. Once I let go, it was as though I fell into such a profound sense of coming home-to-myself. Of course, I am not enlightened, yet a massive layer has been stripped off. A certain freedom lays here beneath the surface. A joy bubbles forth that can not be contained.

The sharp knife of life once it stabs into you and you develop the resilience and strength; that deep vulnerability of weakness is sanded away. It can’t be touched, because it does not exist anymore. I can stand alone, even if the entire world is against me.

 

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Self Goals

“If you feel that your dreams aren’t coming true, you might think that you need to do more, or to think and strategize more. In fact, what you might need is less—less noise coming to you from both inside and outside—so that you have the space for your heart’s truest intention to germinate and flourish.” Thich Nhat Hanh, in ”Silence”.

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In life, it’s far more productive to have self-goals, rather than fully focusing on external material oriented goals. Of course, we are all conditioned to compete and succeed in life. However, what we lose along the way is a deeper connection to who we are in life. Thus, through this loss of accessing a higher percentage of our innate potential, we become shells based on our ego identity; constantly negotiating who we are with our reflection of the world around us.

People are becoming increasingly ubiquitously conditioned into the narrow roles of who they are allowed to be as living beings. Almost everyone is living on the outside of their exterior at a skin-deep level of self-awareness and internal awareness is severely lacking.

What I found was that if you shift your motivation towards working on yourself, through getting to know what lies beneath the surface and what you really have a deep passion for. Accessing this innate sense of self is very powerful and inevitably will increase everyone’s level of focus and clarity in following external goals.

“Learn to discern if a given situation is one you should try to change or one you should accept.” Amma

I found that most of my self-goals centred on self acceptance and self value. As this awareness grew, I realized I had to make drastic changes in several of the external ‘friendships’ I was having. It was one of many steps I began to implement in my life, regarding the boundaries that emulated greater self respect and self value.

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~ Jack Kornfield

In addition, I found that when your goals relate to only what you can do to change yourself, a lot can be done. This also allows you to be honest with yourself and really pinpoint the areas of your life that you need to enhance, as well as the areas that you need to let go of.

In terms of career focus, self-goals are about connecting to what you have always felt a deep interest or passion for in your life. Perhaps, you don’t need to make it your career, yet by increasing those activities into your day to day life, it can have a significantly more positive effect, than ignoring this inner energy.  

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The Illusion of Perfection

“The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.” ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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“If we do not know how to take care of ourselves and to love ourselves, we cannot take care of the people we love. Loving oneself is the foundation for loving another person.” Thich Nhat Hanh

An epidemic has infiltrated our perception of how we perceive other people; in this erroneous commodity infused search for the perfect person. The abject of our own darkness, hidden so deep beneath our own subconscious. Collectively as an entire society; we do not learn to accept ourselves or find true value by just being our own authentic selves.

We are constantly bombarded by media and numerous non-stop flashes of information clearly telling us that we are not good enough just as we are. I encounter this element within almost every single person I meet. We all feel a deep need to hide our anger, fear, insecurities and infinite spectrum of issues tightly concealed behind closed doors.

Since we can’t accept ourselves; we certainly can not accept those same issues encountered within another. Instead, we paint a convincing facade on the outside and desperately search for the ‘perfect’ people to fill our lives with.  We all enjoy spending time with ‘positive’ people, who are all smiles and nothing complicated or intense beneath the surface. If we happen so see some weakness, vulnerability or some other pain inflicted; instantly this person becomes someone who ‘has issues’, is ‘a bitch’ or some other type of ostracizing label.

“Sometimes everything we want is right in front of us, but we don’t see it because it hasn’t been delivered in the package we wanted. We routinely throw away miracles simply by refusing to see them.” ~ Marianne Williamson

This element exists so deeply within our collective unconscious that even in spiritual circles, where people are making an effort to have self awareness and transcend the limitations of their own sense of selves; this quality is still very apparent.

I see this element all too often in relationships. At first the person is perfect, then slowly as the deeper under-layers become revealed, the person is usually cast aside due to the fact that they have ‘issues’. Ironically, I have witnessed this behaviour in people who have issues that they can’t face. They can never find the perfect partner no matter who they meet, there is always something wrong.

It is only when we can embrace the totality of who we are in-this-moment, before we can completely embrace another. I am grateful in my life to have a husband and life partner who completely and absolutely accepts me for who I am and I accept him with the same depth. Of course, our issues come up, yet we have the ability to move beyond them, due to the mutual love we have for one another.  

“The difficulty is not in expressing love, but in letting go of the ego. Love is our true nature. It is already present within us, but we are held back by our individual boundaries. We have to outgrow our individuality in order to merge into universal love. The ego stands in the way of love. Once it is removed, we will flow like a river.” Amma

The love I am talking about is humble, yielding, compassionate, self sacrificing and fully accepting.

When all we do is commoditize people based on how successful, attractive, or alluring they appear; it might fill our superficial desires for a period of time. Yet, inevitably we will feel a sense of emptiness pervading our lives. Until we can find a place to fully accept ourselves exactly as we are; will we be able to accept others as they are. 

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Finding the Centre

“Until you find your center within you will go round & round in circles in search of peace & joy.”~Amma

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As a collective society we are not imbued with a sense of moving slowly, being still or letting go; to be more in the moment. Even if you read spiritual teachings about slowing down and be-here-now, most likely we are still running around in circles.

I was always a busy-body and was taught that in life you needed to work hard and always be busy doing something. It took a lot of loss and continual letting go to find a place of being more still. The pinnacle of success and joy were not the mechanism that brought me closer to a deeper sense of slowing down, it was through having to learn an advanced lesson in detachment. This lesson was not one of letting go of material items; it was a profound lesson in letting go of the assumptions that I carried about who I perceive myself to be and the person I wanted to be.

“If you feel that your dreams aren’t coming true, you might think that you need to do more, or to think and strategize more. In fact, what you might need is less—less noise coming to you from both inside and outside—so that you have the space for your heart’s truest intention to germinate and flourish.” Thich Nhat Hanh

I have always been a fighter, in the sense of striving through all challenges to achieve my goals. I have practiced this my entire life. Through this action I have broken barriers in my life, which most likely would not have been possible if it weren’t for this intense resilience to keep moving forward. Regardless of loss, family death, rejection and severe character defamation; I continued to persevere against all odds.

However, my advanced lesson came on the heels of returning from India, where my husband and I had spent almost 6 months in our spiritual teachers ashram. The years that followed were filled with any number of extreme challenges. Most of the impediments I could more or less let go of, however the sense of how I saw myself and who I kept fighting to be; were the most difficult aspect to lay down in surrender. Yet, to some larger degree it happened only after having almost everything I identified with stripped away.

“Learn to discern if a given situation is one you should try to change or one you should accept.” Amma

I found myself with infinite amounts of free time alone. It was one of the most profound experiences of my lifetime. I tried to fight against the reality I found myself, running here and there. It took a lot of time and through my continual spiritual practices that I increased with my free time. I was able to let go. A deep sense of peace pervaded each day, filled with a bubble of joy waiting just under the surface. This experience was not something that I had ever been accustomed to. It took time to let go of the anxiety of waiting for the bottom to collapse in someway.

“You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Then, I had nothing left to fight for, there was no reason to resist the beautiful life that was being offered to me in this moment. I began to focus my days on all that I had loved, yet had lost over the years. My love of organic food and cooking resumed its intensity, along with my love of tea time, and yoga.

My life consists of a pattern that is currently devoid of stress. The afternoon spent almost each day at the beach with my little dog, followed by afternoon yoga and then preparing some amazingly delectable healthy meal for my husband. I was able to experience this time of rest and rejuvenation due to my husbands deep love, support, and understanding. He understood the necessity of this space and time. Through my own unwinding I saw a sense of peace and joy come forth in him as well.

I have spent my entire life running away from myself, trying to be a person I thought I was. Yet, the reality was that I have always been here, waiting, witnessing and quiet. I realized that over the last two decades I had essentially lost that deep connection with the essence of who I am. In this time of letting go, I came back to this innate essence, that we all carry like a small flame within us. I realized that I did not have to run or fight or search for the person I am or the life I wanted to live. It was always right here, waiting for me to slow down enough to find it.  

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Inner Reflections

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“Many people try to become wiser and more loving, and they remain in a constant battle with themselves. This approach never works because it assumes a separate ‘you’ who wants to be a better person. It is the you that is the dream, a thought only. In taking yourself to be a separate entity, you blind yourself to the Truth of your being, which is love and wisdom.” Adyashanti

Within the eyes of our own reflexivity we shall see a wider array of our outer reality; revealing what we magnetically attract to ourselves. In greater awareness, when we can become more of a witness, we can perceive the interconnected attraction that we generate every second.

“The law of attraction is this…you don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

After spending most of my life as an easily reactive individual, despite doing my practice on a regular basis. A situation occurred where I decided that I would make a concerted effort to become more of a witness, than a reactor. In time, I realized that as situations began to unfold, it was as though a part of me was watching this occur. Within this awareness, there was a very subtle moment where I could choose how to react. Through this process, I started to notice all the people who were drawn to me or attracted to me; everyone was going through something energetically similar. As aspects of my life changed, again I attracted people going through apparently similar life experiences.

“Usually where we experience lack, there’s something we already have that we’re not appreciating fully.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Even further, through the Holistic Integrated Therapy that I have been practicing for many years now, most of my clients were also drawing versions of themselves, literally to themselves. The work I do is a combination of counselling, intuition and medical intuition. It’s incredibly effective when going through very challenging aspects of life or situations with other people. Through observing the challenges of many of my long term clients, as well as the numerous friends that also come to see me. I noticed one thing that was very interesting. The most challenging individuals that they came across, ALL had the same qualities that these people also embodied.

The problem, is that most of us are not willing to really face our darkest inner selves and see how we are on a deeper level. Of course, within the ability that I am gifted with, I can see very clearly each person’s energetic qualities. Actually, I have had this ability very fine tuned since I was a very small child and have used it throughout my entire life, with absolute accuracy in every situation.

“We are made for goodness, love and compassion. Our lives are transformed as much as the world is when we live with these truths.” ~ Desmond Tutu

I noticed that we struggle with the abject of ourselves when we meet it face to face in another person. We fight back against them, with a dislike that we actually have towards these qualities that are hidden deep within ourselves. From a spiritual perspective, none of the mind stuff is our true identity. However, from a practical perspective, all of it is associated with our ego. The ego loves to hide its darkness away; out of sight out of mind. Therefore, we show a facade of a friendly demeanor and project outwardly how we would like others to perceive us. Ironically, I have always been able to feel the whole energy of a person, seeing what was hidden beneath.

“When you accept everything for what it is without labels,you are outside your ego.”~Eckhart Tolle.

When we are aware of our own darker tendencies, we learn to have compassion and acceptance towards others negative tendencies.  I am not saying that we accept others bad behaviour, yet we can accept the whole of the individual, even if we see that this person can lose their temper at times or is also human like us. If we can find a place of taking self-responsibility for who we are and all of our tendencies, then it’s easier to see the humanity of others. The reflections of the abject are the strongest in partnership, we see the negative qualities and start to point the finger in blame, “you are like this”. When really, we are most likely the same, in some way.

“When a ship is in the sea, it has to weather storms, rough seas and may even encounter whales or sharks, while the ship anchored in the harbour doesn’t face any such challenges. However, who would make a ship just to moor it in the harbour? When obstacles appear in life, we need to kindle our inner strength and spread the fragrance of selflessness and love. We should be able to lift up others who are drowning in grief.” Amma

One of the most powerful healing qualities is awareness, as once we are able to shed light on our own inner vulnerabilities we can work on changing them. Rather than finding constant fault with others behaviour. It’s far more self-empowering to continuously focus on our inner self and allow these patterns to deteriorate and eventually let them go.

In time, all things are possible if you make the sincere effort, all you need is the persistence and continual awareness. In time, you will attract much more harmonious relations and the depth of compassion and love will allow you to work through difficulties with others in a positive way.

In addition, it is important to maintain a certain level of discrimination and have healthy boundaries around those who we want in our lives.

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Through The Looking Glass

“The new midlife is where you realize that even your failures make you more beautiful and are turned spiritually into success if you became a better person because of them. You became a more humble person. You became a more merciful and compassionate person.” ~ Marianne Williamson

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 I was reading a post on a friends social media, where she was going through a deep internal struggle related to the sequence of her entire life. Since I have been going through a similar internal conflict, I felt a sense of understanding, empathy and respect for the process.

What I found interesting, was that many of the comments were obviously trying to uplift her mood by stating profound spiritual truths and teachings. I found this such an intriguing circumstance of how we project all these highly idealistic perceptions of how we must face this inner process; through being in the moment and choosing to be happy right here, right now.

After reading all the very similar comments, I realize that unless one has been down this dark corridor, there is little to no comprehension of the process. The process of transformation, often can be very deep and excruciatingly painful. Even though you realize that some level of mental and emotional upliftment would be beneficial in this moment; often it’s not there to be found.

“Suffering is not enough. Life is both dreadful and wonderful…How can I smile when I am filled with so much sorrow? It is natural – you need to smile to your sorrow because you are more than your sorrow.” Thich Nhat Hanh

The process of having the outer ego removed and stripped away often provokes a disenchanting series of feelings. The person you were previously has radically shifted and the life you were striving to live, does not exist.

The axis of transformation is steep and can be something that is akin to a deep exfoliating of your skin, leaving it red and painful. It takes time for the new growth to take place and can not be ‘solved’, by some theoretical commentary.

We live in a society that does not allow or fully accept such inner transitions. There is a collective rule of having to continuously present a false sense of happy all the time, rather than show the deep suffering going on in that moment. If you are attempting to live life with greater awareness, you are doing your practice and allowing the process to flow.  Despite the fact your mind finds the content of the experience to be of a painful nature; it’s often necessary to facilitate the change that is needed.

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.” Rumi

Transformation does not have to be difficult or even painful, however most people walking this path find that it often will fall more into a painful category, rather than joyful. Of course, the after affect of such transition is a greater sense of peace and happiness due to having to fight with some aspect of our sense of expectation; having to eventually let it go.

When challenges comes, there is always a lesson to learned and eventually some shift in our perspective in life. Hence, if we never suffer in our own lives, how can be truly embody empathy towards others suffering.

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The Power of Forgiveness

“Compassion is the foundation of peace. Compassion resides within everyone. But it is difficult to experience it and express it in all of our actions. We must turn inwards to search deep within ourselves. ‘Is my heart still vibrant with life? Can I still experience the source of love and compassion within me? Does my heart still melt at the pain and sorrow of others? Have I cried along with those who are suffering? Have I really tried to wipe another’s tears to console them or given someone at least a single meal or a set of clothing?” Like this, we can honestly introspect. Then the soothing moonlight of compassion will spontaneously shine within our minds. If we want to bring peace to the external world, first our inner world needs to be at peace.” Amma

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There is a great ambiguity in the whole concept of ‘forgiveness’, thus many write about it and perhaps we all have moments where we can truly forgive. However, it has been my experience, despite feeling a deep need to find forgiveness and coming very near the entrance of this energy. I found that in some way I could not fully let go of the burden I had been carrying. I still chose to hang onto the suffering that I felt from my own actions and those of others.

The point is, when do we really get to a place to allowing this beautiful and divine energy to come into our hearts and cleanse them of all the anger, resentment, and other energy that we constantly hold on to and renegotiate with on a regular basis.

Not causing harm requires staying awake. Part of being awake is slowing down enough to notice what we say and do. The more we witness our emotional chain reactions and understand how they work, the easier it is to refrain. It becomes a way of life to stay awake, slow down, and notice.” Pema Chödrön

My realization is that at the end of the day, you have no control over others or the external environment. However, you do have an element of control over who and how you choose to be as a person. 

I have tried to find this feeling throughout my life, yet never really managed to allow it to permeate my consciousness. Yet, with grace all things are possible and when the time comes, it can and will happen.

When you are no longer willing to continue to carry the burden of emotional pain over something that is beyond your reach.

This is when you can choose to either become hard, like an impermeable rock, or let it all go and allow the softness of love and forgiveness to awaken from within and flow throughout your life.

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The Numinous

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“Numinous /ˈnjuːmᵻnəs/ is an English adjective, derived from the Latin numen, meaning “arousing spiritual or religious emotion; mysterious or awe-inspiring”.”[1]

“Real love exists in the heart. The love that exists in the Heart cannot be spoken; it cannot be put in words. The heart is not the place for words. Words are in the intellect. The intellect can speak, but it is nothing more than a tape recorder. It records and spits out words and words and words – words that don’t have any feeling in them. The intellect cannot feel compassion; it cannot feel love or kindness.” Amma

As a spiritual aspirant, how can one even broach this abstract topic with mere words. I am capable of writing on many holistic topics, however it is the essence of spirituality and human transformation that captivate me, leaving me in deep water. Thus, I am at an impasse, trying to construct and galvanize something that in practicality, can not be caught and trapped by the finite demarcations of human language.

I will attempt to discuss the relationship of the devotee with their divine aspirations. Hence, the idea of the Numinous; the divine love that we all seek at some level, which is the unification with our own true sense of Self.

This experience is not something that one can even talk about. I rarely write or speak of my own deep personal connection to the Divine. However, I felt drawn to write this, due to a misconstrued sense of egoism I witnessed recently. The Numinous is not about hierarchy, popularity, power, or recognition for who we are, in the eyes of others.

“Lift the veil that obscures the heart, and there you will find what you are looking for.” Kabir

This relationship is so subtle, so personal and delicately intimate. The only similarity may be between lovers who are experiencing a higher expression of human love, not sensually based. The feeling of such a deep opening in your heart that you can not breath, you can not even speak of it, for it has possessed your soul. You are exhilarated, yet the subtle dance is only between you and your Beloved. There is no possible mechanism to translate this sublime love into any words that exist, for the feeling is one of being completely consumed. The dance of love, is so delicate and awe inspiring, it feels so deeply personal that to speak of such a precious thing would reduce its true essence to something of the worldly domain; losing all intrinsic value.

“What is the root of all these words? One thing: Love. But a love so deep and sweet it needed to express itself with scents, sounds, colours that never before existed.”  Hafiz

To engage at this level with the Divine; to taste the Numinous, is a delicate art that only very prolific poets may have half a hope of conveying, such as Rumi, Hafiz, and Kabir. The likes of, I used to literally have a stack of their books, which I would constantly be reading. Then life took me away from such things, down a different path, away from the essence of my heart.

“In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.” Rumi

It has taken a long time to return to this sacred place, to find my way back to who I am and honour my own unique sense of expression in this world. Poetry is the essence of true expression for such an experience, as other such writing and words do not suffice.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi

True love and contact with the Numinous is not something anyone would yell off the roof top. Instead,  one turns inward and can only be absorbed into the abstract experience.

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A Conscious Life

“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
Pema Chödrön

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What does it mean to be here, living this life. Is there a sense of deeper understanding, inspiration, or moments of tranquility where thoughts fall away. Are we living a conscious life where we are aware of our actions, not only what we are supporting, but also our every action that we direct outwardly.  Are we able to have some sense of control over how we choose to interface with the external world and the beings and objects that we find there. Are we motivated by a deeper inspiration and meaning to live our lives with a sense of growing awareness, where we fully comprehend our intention and how powerful our each action can affect change, in all ways.

I have spent most of my life interacting and socializing with a large volume of people. This is something that comes effortless to me, yet on a deeper level I am not really a people person. I prefer to find deep moments of introspection, solace, and inner awareness. Thus, within my own life I have spent more time in solitude, than interacting with others. Ironically, I have been know as being rather talkative and a friendly person, which can be true. Yet, for most of my lifetime, I have observed long days of silence, reflexivity, and silent practices that enable me to find some sense of inner peace. The time that I choose to spend alone, seeking inner solitude allows me to have a sense of dynamic energy when I relate to others.

Through interacting with numerous people, I am aware of so many people who are filled with a growing consciousness, which is incredibly powerful and beautiful. I have watched the actions of these people, literally change the world, in many small ways with their collective ideas, which eventually are becoming more ‘mainstream’. Thus, when we all have a choice within the folds of how we choose to live our lives, we no longer need to fear being ‘different’, if we choose to live a more conscious, aware, or ecologically sound lifestyle.

What path are we walking down in our lives, does it serve our higher good, or someone else’s? I ask this question, as I know the feeling of limitation, where we are working at a job that does not satisfy our own values or inspirations.

I have witnessed, many times, the conceptional sense of a microscopic sense of perceived power, that is so destructive, its unbelievable.  Through all these experiences, it has shown me, as a very clear mechanism of how not to be as a human being. I have had people behave many ways towards me, yet in each interaction I too have had a choice how to react in exchange.

In all of our lives, regardless of where we are or what we are doing, we all have the choice to remain true to who we are, strong within ourselves, disallowing others to try to take what they can. To find some sense of strength that is beyond others actions. True power, is silent, humble, yet there is self worth and confidence. To find inner strength, we must be aware of when to not react and when to stand our ground. This is the key to finding a deeper sense of inner freedom, for when others can no longer trigger or touch us, or these experiences become less and less; we feel more inner peace. Of course, for many of us, there will be times that we react and are trigger, yet each one of these experiences allows us a deeper insight into what we still need to be aware of and integrate at a deeper level.

To truly find inner strength and wisdom in life, we must learn what wisdom is, yet we also must practice and experience this phenomena many times before we can understand it. If we choose to live a life that is more conscious, as opposed to a life where we have little awareness over anything that is taking place; blindly running along with the masses. If we choose to find a deeper sense of autonomy, we must cultivate a sense of perception that is wider than our mere egocentrism. We must find a place within ourselves, where we can find a space that allows us to perceive the whole, integrated within our own sense of individuality.

We always have a choice, within each moment and each action; we are the ones who are in control to shape our reality through our conscious action. Even when our lives are apparently chaotic, we always have a choice how we choose to perceive our sense of suffering, even if we can’t find a solution or the change that we feel we would like to implement within our lives.

Copyright © All Rights Reserved 2015

 

The Power of Nature

“Trees are the Earths endless effort to speak to the listening heaven.” Rabindranath Tagore

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Many love to be in nature and to experience the tranquil beauty and vibrance of lush green, as far as the eye can see. To experience the silence that comes, as you venture deeper into a wild forest or higher up a mountain terrain. In my life I have loved to experience this profound connection with the natural world, through sitting in nature or hiking along a mountain side. The power of nature is beyond our cognitive ability to conceptualize, we may visually enjoy what is before our eyes, yet can we feel the energy of all of the living species that create the landscape. I want to convey my experiences of being in nature, an experience that I often seek out, on a regular basis as it functions to restore my equilibrium better than anything else that I have ever found.

I grew up in a rural, extremely wild area of the world, in rugged untouched wilderness. My parents gave us a sense of freedom, that is almost not heard of in this day and age. We could roam through the endless forest, as we learned from a very young age where and how far to go. My earliest memories are being in nature. I felt this deep connection with the trees, animals and the natural world, in general. To such a degree that I could actually feel the tranquility of being in nature. Throughout my entire life, I was very attracted to very large trees, these special trees are what I think of as ‘fairy trees’, a term I learned while living in the U.K. These trees are special, often with other plants growing on or around them. They are often perched on a hill of sorts, created by the massive tangle of their roots. These trees are considered Mother Trees, from an ecological and biological perspetcive, where they literally repopulate the surrounding forest and their roots are an interwoven connection of communication and nutrient delivery system, that enables all the surrounding trees to thrive.

Throughout my life, I would always seek out one of these mother trees to go to, where I would sit and be alone. Even while I lived in various countries throughout the world, I would always seek out a very large tree to find some solace beneath. Its common knowledge that all of nature creates a frequency of energy, yet large trees have a very powerful energy.

I remember one time I was sitting in this massive tree in Totness England, and a small rabbit came out of the surrounding forest to sit near me. Interestingly, while quietly sitting within the folds of the natural world I have had numerous such experiences. One of the most significant experiences of enjoying the peace of nature and being visited by an animal occurred when I was in my early 20s, while I was in North India in the Himalayan mountains, in the late 1990’s. I had a great Golden Eagle, with a wingspan over 5 feet, come rest very near me. The eagle flew beside me, only a few feet, stayed for a very long time, watching me as I sat quietly. Then, he gracefully leaned out from the high perch of a rock, extended his massive wingspan and flew off. I was told many years later, by a practicing Shaman that eagle is my totem animal. Ironically, I see eagles very often in my life.

Another time, I was running in the forest behind my families property. I noticed a black shape running beside me, when I looked it was a black bear. She was running beside me for a distance. Then, the two dogs I was running with chased her up a tree.  Many years later, when I was studying Anthropology at University, one of my profs did her PhD on Shamanism, and she said that those who had the inclination to be Shamans in the society, were chosen by nature via having an animal come up to them, in an unusual way. This was an interesting point of reference, as for my entire life I have been deeply passionate about holistic healing, thus this did not surprise me.

However, given this knowledge I have had no desire to study what is modern day Shamanism, for it’s not my path in life. I prefer to just be conscious of the energy of nature. Thus, when the world of activity and the frenetic energy of human life becomes too much, I retreat into the natural world to find a sense of peace and equilibrium.

There is no experience more profound than the silence of nature, where you are receptive to the silence and the life giving vibrance that nature has to offer. If you are feeling stagnant, exhausted or depressed, take some time to walk by the ocean, through a beautiful park and be present with what surrounds you. To behold nature as a living entity gives you the ability to tap into the energetic frequency that is emitted from each plant and tree. In this space, there exists a quiet magic that only those who are able to be still enough may experience, leaving you with a deep feeling of peace, silence and joy.

Copyright © All Rights Reserved 2015