Returning Home

“No one is going to force us onto the spiritual path; it is up to each of us to decide what to make of our life. But after reading the user’s manual for an appliance, we find ourselves inspired to try to make it run as efficiently as possible. Likewise, when we sincerely study the life and teachings of the Great Masters, we will surely want to make the most of this rare and precious blessing of a human life” Amma

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It has been many years since I last was in India, it was 1998 the last of four visits to various areas of India. However, all the years between have changed the person I used to be, including my once idealized notion of the ‘spiritual’ India. This arrival marked a dramatic, diametrically opposing perception, perhaps I am able to see the cultural nuance for what they are, rather than a romanticized notion of how I once perceived India. Moreover, at this point in my life a tremendous integration is taking place on a deeply holistic level of searching for equilibrium, thus making the concerted effort to strive towards a place of balance in all ways.

To strive towards the notion of wholeness, is a profound journey that encompassed far more than purely physical wellbeing and longevity. The real essence of holism is to integrate the macro cosmic reality within the dynamics of the micro cosmic world, that we all have within our inner soul. The life I had been living was heavily weighted towards a beautiful richness of all aspects of maintaining and striving for physical health with the lifestyle I had been living. The equation was such that the majority of my holistic lifestyle was focused on increasing the physical state of well being, with a smaller percentage focused on spiritual and mental/emotional equilibrium. I mention this point, in comparison to the pure abundance of spiritual energy that exists where I am in India. Previously, I did do a regular spiritual practice daily and made an effort to attempt to find inner equilibrium.

Currently, the holistic paradigm has been reconstituted into a lesser percentage of caring for the physical body through the various elements of health inducing properties such as foods, water, and organic goodness. The spiritual element is my main focus, with the physical of a lesser extent, even though the diet and lifestyle here is still considered quite healthy. True holism is really a deeper inner transformation, for how can we really live a holistic lifestyle when we are filled with negative thoughts, actions, and habits. Thus, the quest in my lifetime has been towards finding internal equilibrium through a spiritual practice.

Upon my arrival here, I felt a deep sense of returning home, a feeling that can not even be translated into words. The depth of this sensation and perception goes far beyond the feeling of my own biological family, surpassing the feeling of being home. In truth, I have never been anywhere, other than perhaps Amma’s San Ramon, California ashram where I felt such a deep peace of returning to my true home, the place where I belong without a shadow of a doubt. Of course there are numerous factors that I do not necessarily find to my cultural and conditional liking, however, the deep inner sense of harmony and peace of this place resonate to such a deep nuance with my soul that its undeniable that I am finally home. My husband equally feels this same sense of being home, surrounded by all that we have been yearning for for such a long time. Its equivalent to finding a rich oasis in the middle of an infinitely barren and isolated terrain. Thus, I have found myself wondering how I managed to live the sterile life that had been my life, for so many years.

The true balance of holism has shifted, reaching a much deeper level of permanence, through the purification of sadhana and the sheer resonance of this holy place, all things have drastically altered for my husband and I. We seek to spend as much time traveling with Amma throughout the world and spending time in India. Through the challenges, we fully are aware that living a life of spiritual purification will not be easy, yet the fruits of this lifestyle are ones that have eternal value.

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