“The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.” Thich Nhat Hanh
In the ebb and flow of life, have you ever dreamed an amazing dream of creating a beautiful opportunity for yourself through traveling or spending precious time in some undeniably magical destination. In my life, as of the last few years I have strongly felt a deep draw to return to India, to submerge myself into the vibration of spiritual practice towards inner transformation. Several years ago my husband and I planned such a trip, we figured everything out and even asked Amma if we could come to India. She said, “come when you can”, thus as a few years went by this dream seemed to fade into something else. Lost, my one true dream of true longing and yearning; faded into the mirage of the life I was struggling through.
Like all of the most beautiful and lovely things in life, they often come when we completely let go and create a space large enough for their manifestation. Hence, I had planned a trip to New York to visit a friend, during the exact time Amma would be there and possibly a trip to Boston to join Amma for the retreat. Although, I kept getting such an intense feeling that was not a beneficial trip for me, in anyway. In the midst of this confusion, over whether to cancel this trip or not, during my morning sadhana I suddenly had an extremely intense feeling to go to India. The feeling was like a small flame being discovered, once my awareness went to it, it became like a huge inferno of flame, consuming me. As soon as my husband came home, before I had a chance to mention this intense urge to him, he told me that he was done with his current job and was going to quit. He was very calm and collected, through his own epiphany that day, realizing that one aspect of his life was done and he needed to create space for the next chapter to begin.
I mentioned the trip to India and we just plunged into the depth of going for it, as I booked our tickets the next day, we were completely committed. Like diving into the depth of an endless ocean, knowing that there was so much to organize before leaving in only two months! However, the exact feeling I had about going to India that auspicious morning was one of a physical sensation of just falling into an abyss of surrender, of completely letting go of everything and just going to India. In the experience of this sublime feeling, I also had images flash instantly before my eyes of everything that needed to take place before we left, yet I strongly felt that everything would be taken care of easily. The feeling was as crystalline clear, in that moment I remembered my longing to go to India, revived and renewed, a reality at last.
On September 5, 2013 we will go to India to spend 6 months at Amritapuri, Amma’s South Indian ashram. We also plan on taking small trips around South India to some of the lovely beaches located between Kerala and Goa. It has been 14 years since my last trip to India, the feeling is like going home, more than to just visit. It will be my fifth trip to India in my life and one that I feel will be the most profound and transformational.
The lesson that I seem to be learning in life, is that when you let go of all of the plans, instead surrendering to the essence of where we are suppose to be, rather than were we want to be; magical experiences suddenly manifest, allowing us to experience what our heart truly craves. In my case, to spend such a long duration in the fire of daily sadhana, is what I seek the most in this life, even if I have forgotten this numerous times throughout my life; I remember it now.
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